It’s been years, but my parents used to own a motorhome and we would go camping quite regularly in it. I love sleeping in an actual bed, having a flushing toilet, and a shower.
I really wanted to go glamping with daddy this year. They have these domes on Tofino Island that are see-through, where you’re right on the beach, and we were really excited about doing that. We never got around to it, though, maybe in the future. 
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I used to love the show Xena Warrior Princess. I remember sitting close to our old tv in the living room watching it whenever I could. I was so caught up in it I was convinced I would run away with her and defeat bad guys. Once I was so defiant in a bluster of tears and confidence of a young child standing waiting at the end of my drive way convinced she would show up and take me with her.
As I aged the dream changed to Egyptology and then singing, and then just paying my bills. Now I’m a onlyfans creator and I still write, clearly. Sometimes I still sing as well, although my warrior princess days are behind me. I prefer mistress anyway, and not to force surrender 😉
Don’t come at me! This isn’t a one twu way post preaching my way is the right way. God knows many people would point out all the ways I’m to soft, not enough of an ice queen, not prancing around in leather all the time, laughing when I should be scowling 😉
But I digress. This is about a top vs a dominant, and a bottom vs a submissive.
You might be surprised that as a dominant I LOVE to bottom, or that as a submissive I will top whenever I have the chance. See, it’s not the bedroom games or the lack of power or amount of it you have when doing the mattress mambo.
I’ll drop the this is subjective and my thoughts are my own bla bla bla bit, followed up by saying this is my observations after 6 plus years in the lifestyle. I’m no expert, but damn this pattern is frustrating!!
Just because you want someone to do all the kinky things to you (bottom) does not mean you’re a submissive! Can a sub like lots of kinky stuff done to them? Sure! But what sets the stage for genuine submission is surrender, not when you let what YOU want lead and have no desire to give over control unless it gets you off or floaty ( mmm sub space) or when you want to. The trend in this is it’s all about YOU. That line of thinking is soooo far from the root of what submission is about. It should be about what the dominant wants.
The same can be said for a dominant who only wants to do kinky things (be a top) while saying they are more. Generally someone who seeks out a D type does so because they want to feel things. I should point out I’m not talking about play partners or scene based play, for those a top bottom combo calling themselves a dominant or sub is fair enough. What I’m speaking of is for those of us who live and breathe this lifestyle. The ones who need to feel owned, or small, or in control, or utilized, or looked up to. All those things are glaringly absent when a top pretends to be a dom.
I speak from a spot of experience as a switch who had many tops moonlighting as dominants. Eventually the sub space from all the delicious play fades and you just want to be utalized. So you want, and wait, and eventually feel hollow, and then one day the play isn’t enough.
Knowing the difference will save countless frustration and emotional pain. There is nothing wrong with being a top or bottom, but don’t mislabel yourself. Think about your reasoning for doing what you do, if it’s about getting off and pleasure or about cultivation or surrender. When you can pin point that you’ll have better knowledge to use labels that better fit.
As a blind person technology is a huge part of my day to day life. I’m writing this from my iPhone where my text is large and where I have d a screen reading program at my fingertips. Should I want to, I can switch over to my laptop with a screen reading program as well ready for my use.
While these things help in my day to day I would be lieing if I said it had been helpful with a career. Often blindness text is behind the mainstream stuff. Dishes often visit and then suddenly you can’t use a program.
I would love to say this levels the playing field, the technology but we are long way off.
It helps though! My talking kitchen scale helps my fitness. My Apple Watch monitors my heart rate when I workout. The screen reader on my iPhone helps me access my peloton app and Stack my classes. Potpoayer reads subtitles so I can watch undubbed anime. We have a long way to go but if we didn’t have wish we do now, lots would be unusable.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
When it comes to weight loss and working out I NEVER thought I would be someone to stick with it. But a few years ago I decided to take a risk and purchase myself a Peloton bike. I was so worried that like with every other piece of exercise equipment I had owned I would use it a few times and then let it collect dust.
The bike came and I almost sent it back. I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating clipping in cleats is with little to no vision. I almost threw my shoes through the wall! Somehow though I finally clipped in, and I’ve been doing so ever sense.
Over a half dozen powerzone challenges, each with a short for finishing, and then in December I went out on another limb and purchased my peloton rower. Without a job, I have all the time in the world (cynical short) so why not?
I’ve got my form down to 95 percent or above on most rows, not bed for someone who can’t see well enough to follow along! I’ve stepped back from my beloved pzp challenges to put some time in to my rowing, and I love it!
If I had the energy I would say yes to every challenge, every dessert, and every cocktail, but alas self control is a thing. Sometimes we need to say no to one thing to build up another.
I’ve learned this in a few arias of my life, be it desserts, workouts, or romantic connections. I’ve taken a view of quality over quantity.
Except when I’m on a cruise, then you best believe I’m gonna stuff my face like the dessert fiend I’m meant to be!! Until then thoogh I’ll say no, for my health, for my relationships, and for my waistline 😉
Lips of a Soul 